Party Of Four

My Roomy/Muse rather enthusiastically has been “encouraging” me to sketch out content for the BLOG.  Ok, so who am I fooling???? She has, under penalty of bodily-harm, insisted I compose some thoughts, preferably about Bali, and/or South Africa.

At last I am relenting and throwing dispersions aside…here are my thoughts, pssst…they are not about Bali or South Africa.

For sometime now, I have found myself fascinated by the wake of a tragic event from the Summer of 2009. The all too untimely loss of a childhood friend, John. Despite attempts to distract ourselves from our fate, somewhere in each of us is the understanding that nothing is permanent, and that time is indeed finite.  Ok, before anyone slides into a warm melancholy, let me, having set the stage, lunge forward to the essence of this post.

John’s mortal coil binding him to us was cast off, when his life was suddenly and tragically cut short during a boating accident in the Gulf of Mexico, just off the shores of Southern Texas.  What followed was an outpouring of sorrow, loss, and remembrance for a truly unique and well loved man.  But, that is not the end of the story, it is only the end of the beginning; for John, like many of us, lived in a Brave New World; a world of twisted time, and of arching space; a world where virtual ideas, personalities, and interactions redefine what it means to “Be”.

No, I am not talking about Twitter, but I could be.  “Social-networking”, as ubiquitous as “Party-lines” of the 1960s, opens entirely new esoteric ideas of who we are, how we interact, and what it means to be “connected”.  You see John, having died in the Summer of 2009, is still quite with us; or rather “With” the 292 individuals he “friend-ed” on facebook prior to climbing into his boat for the last time.

Through the miracle of modern science, John’s essence floats through the ether and wires of the Information Highway; a kind of eternal flame, without the flame.  It is this idea (no not the flame idea, the one before it), that raises some juicy ideas.  For instance…this virtual “Page” serves as a touch-stone for remembrances of times well spent, and of the pain and sorrow of loss.

There are posts from old friends with photos, and wonderful notes expressing that,

“I am thankful to have had you come into my life!”.

Then there are the quirks that come with FB, that prompted this post to his page…

“Wow… Facebook told me I haven’t talked to you in a while… Damn facebook… don’t they know how much you’re missed?”

One only needs to check-in from time to time to see fresh posts to John. To find that John has once again been kidnapped to some far flung FB island, or to recognize that John has been robbed by some other “Mafia-Wars” gang.

John’s last post was July 24, 2009, and it read,

“FACEBOOK has agreed to let a third party advertisers use your posted pictures WITHOUT your permission. Click on SETTINGS up at the top where you see the Log out link. Select PRIVACY SETTINGS. Then select “NEWSFEEDS and WALL”.

So, now what?  Is anyone aware of protocol for these types of things?  Is there a Statute of Limitations for posting to someone page who is no longer with us?  I want to know who will be the first person to dare remove themselves as John’s FB friend?  Assuming no one knows John’s FB password, just how long will Big Brother allow his site to stay live?  And, what happens if his site were to go away?  Would that mean an end?

For me, I take away from this the all too familiar notion that death is for the living. To remember, to come together, to honor those that are no longer with us. I can not help but appreciate these thoughts without also taking away the essential belief that after John is gone is not the time to post to his page telling him how he was loved and missed.  For those of us who waited until then, we are fools.  The time to tell one another about the joy and love and laughter brought into our live by those dear to us is now, and now and now.  It is not tomorrow, it is not next week, or the next time we get together.

I want to thank John, for sharing with me the understanding that it is what we think we will say or do in the next minute or hour that makes us cowards. And it is what we say and do in this second and the next that impacts and affects others; this is what makes us human.